Big Brother in Paradise

Hey, what's up it's been a while...

I haven't posted much about Big Brother (or that joke that was the Bachelorette) but, don't worry, I have been watching and making lots of mental notes.  

I actually liked Paulie at the beginning of the season.  I  mean, he is not too hard on the eyes and he comes from Big Brother royalty, well more like the court jester second place finisher royalty, but still. 

 Now he kinda makes me want to puke.  

He and his merry band of morons are arrogantly taking over the house and picking off the females one by one.  He is even gunning for his one time "showmance" partner Zakiyah, although he seems to have backed off her this week in favor the "super fan" Michelle, and since he usually gets what he wants I am sure she will be the next to go. 

He probably realizes that with a bit of effort he can woo back Zakiyah and Michelle keeps crying all the damn time and pissing even the nice people like James off, so unless she somehow magically wins the veto it's likely she is gone.  

After that, the girls need to get their hands out of the guys pants and step the fuck up. I am not impressed thus far with their behavior - Nicole showmance with the lovable doof Corey.  Natalie, showmance with the lovable fan favorite James.  Zakiyah, in love with Paulie who just wants to get in her pants.  Bridgette, the cabbage patch kid without an owner, still pining over that dumbass Frank, come on... Ladies! You do not need these guys.  Play them, bring in Corey and James and start running shit.  

 Make some mother fucking boss moves.

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE if one of them won HOH next week and put up Paul next to Paulie!!! Turn the house around and stop being dumb.  Otherwise, you WILL be eliminated one by one and you will lead P and P straight to the finale.  I would love to see James win, he also seems to be pulled in by the forces in charge and swayed to the dark side in order to keep himself safe.  But what he needs to realize is he is last on the "executive" list and will be the first of them to go.  

Unless Victor keeps up the crazy cocky attitude and digs his own grave, never mind that is inevitable. His nomination speech tonight was fucking ridiculous! (Those beads tho...)  Still.  The P's must be broken up immediately or the show will be one giant predictable snooze fest from here on out.

Anyway, all you really need to know about the Bachelorette is that the lesser Rodgers brother won.  It was basically a snooze fest once Chad left and took his steroid-fueled drama with him so I sorta lost interest.  The rest of the guys were just so regular and unappealing that it made it hard to watch.  Plus she obviously was head over heals for that Jordan guy so no point in investing in anyone else.  Yawn.

But.  ABC did bring Chad to "Paradise" for their even more insipid show 'Bachelor in Paradise', which bring past Bachelor/Bachelorette "contestants" to an island for an alcohol-fueled quest for "love" (read - sex).  And he did exactly as I am sure they wanted, got drunk and started insulting everyone, including Sara, the sweet girl who was born with only part of one arm who is actually one of the few on the show who seems to be actually looking for love. 

Well, that royally pissed everyone off and now he is being sent home.  Which means the rest of the season will likely be devoted to drunk girls crying over dumb guys who they wouldn't even look twice at in the real world.  Can't wait! 

Big Brother and not much else...

So Big Brother...

So happy that Vanessa got eliminated just before the final two.  I literally have never felt so excited to watch the final jury vote!

Seeing her so sad and defeated as she sat amongst those she had manipulated and used to move up the ranks in the house, was a little too joyful for me.    And her comment about being a 4.5 million dollar winning poker player that she mentioned not once but TWICE was so "I didn't need the money anyway..."  Please.

And Steve, well, he was probably the last person I would have ever thought would have won, but he did and I think it was as deserved as possible considering he was barely even present the first half of the summer.  Plus he was just so...cluelessly happy to win, you can't help but be happy for him.

Much more so than Liz who could not even think of one thing she did on her own other than team up with the right people.  Oh, and force her egg to split in utero giving her the gift of an identical twin sister which is pretty much what propelled her through the season.

That and her "showmance" with that face beard person.  Who, according to Zingbot, apparently did not smell good.  I hope and pray that she was just using him and has promised herself not to see him outside the house unless he cuts off that damn beard.  (I really hated it). Gross.

Anyway.  Not much too else going on in the reality world.  I can't wait for the new Bachelor to start, Ben is freaking adorable and I think it will be an interesting season.

Can't be ay worse than Chris's season which was a major yawn fest.  I need drama to keep me riveted.

I know this is a boring blog but today I am super distracted.....

But that is a blog for another day...

Goodnight...

Donald Trumps Big Brother

So Big Brother.  Can't say as those I am happy or surprised to see that my arch nemesis, Vanessa, has made it to the final three.  I also can't say that I would not get a special kind of pleasure from seeing her evicted just before the finale, but I am realistic enough to know that that is not likely.

Although if Liz is stupid (or naive if I am being nice) to take her to the final two then Liz absolutely deserves to lose.  The problem is that no one has the balls that Vanessa has to make the moves she has made that would be necessary to have eliminated her already.

Her manipulating skills are strongly on point and I am not ashamed that I am somewhat envious of the ability she has to make people do what she wants.  I mean I am not a stranger to using a bit of emotional blackmail to get what I want, but that chick is madly gifted in the art.  Granted, those people have no outside influences, no cell phones or TV so maybe they go a little bit crazy and need to find a leader to whom they can bow down but still I like to think I would be immune to it.

Then again, if I was on that show I would probably be eliminated early on because I tend to act too emotionally and would probably self destruct without my beloved cell phone, or my Macbook or Hulu to keep me company and forced to interact with people, most of whom I most definitely would not like.

But then again I am buzzed and watching Modern Family while I eat Oreos on a Saturday night so maybe I could find a way to make it work, might be a nice change from the dull and mundane.  But I did start running again so leave me alone about the Oreos!

Which brings to me my other arch nemesis, Donald fucking Trump.  There are no words.  I cannot believe that he is the front runner for the Republican Party.  Wait.  That's not true.  I can believe it, I just don't want to accept it.  He hates women.  Period.  That alone should preclude him from any kind of public office, not to mention, OUR PRESIDENT.  If I hear one more female talk about what a good business man he is, I may throw up on myself.

If I was less mind numbingly bored by politics I would list all of the reasons why he is the biggest dumbass ever, but I am already getting bored by this topic.  I hate election years so much, I have come close to unfollowing my own mother on Facebook just to get a way from the influx of political (liberal) crap she posts.

Politics people, calm down.  I love my mother.  But Brad Pitt looks so hot in that episode.  And I a not even into him but I agree with Pheobe.

But I digress.  I think I am gonna have to wrap this up because I have to get up super early tomorrow but I just love these gifs.  And Friends.  And my friends.  But anyway.  GOodnight peeps...!!!

Big Brother and Bachelor in Paradise rantings...

Okay first of all, I need to get this Bachelor in Paradise nonsense out of my system.

Yes, I like the Bachelor.  Not because I think it will lead to true love, but because it is fascinating to me to watch what people will do when under such intensive "romantic" stress, while being plied with network ideals about what they need to stay a popular show - not to mention tons of alcohol.

Most of the Bachelors will choose the girl they find the most sexually open and attractive.  Even if every other person is telling them how awful and manipulative they are, sexual attraction almost always wins.  What else explains Jake picking that awful girl whose name escapes me, or Ben picking that tramp model who obviously was making it clear he was well below her standards.  

 

Or Jason, that guy who was literally crucified for dumping the "winner' he had no (non-sexual) interest in for the woman who would eventually become his wife.  (One of the few surviving couples I might add)

And the women, well they tend to pick the guys that are the best at appearing to be great guys while not really giving up anything real, not the guys who would actually make them the happiest.  Andi picking Josh, the guy she could not stop arguing with, or Ali lusting after the guy who abandoned her in, Tahiti, I believe.

And don't get me started on that dentist girl who kept the guy who was talking major crap about her behind her back.  And Kaitlyin and Nick. Come on.  He was playing her like a fiddle and she almost fell for it.  Or Jillian and the "straight" guy who couldn't keep it up on their overnight date....hmmm.  Girls tend to want what they don't or "can't" have.

My point is that I think it is very hard to choose a lifetime mate over a span of six weeks.  Human nature and hormonal lust gets in the way every time.  And this whole Bachelor in Paradise, well that is a whole firestorm of bad decisions.  Basically drunken fools trying to stay in paradise to avoid their horrible real lives.  Everyone plays everyone and it's fabulous TV.  But occasionally someone forgets that this is not, in fact, real life and gets attached.

This was the case with Carly and Kirk.  For weeks they were one of the exclusive couples who always gave each other the rose and this somehow gave Carly the idea that they were going to be together forever.  This was squashed when, on the night before "real life" was to begin (the last week of the show) Kirk called it off.  Not surprising, considering that two weeks in, he was already having doubts and wanting to end it, when ABC intervened and gave them a  "fantasy suite" and Kirk got lucky.  Then of course he couldn't end it without looking like a major douche.

But fast forward to the end of the show when Kirk's doubts once again creeped in, this time after Carly told him she could see him with their kids and was ready to marry him.  Wow.  Can't imagine why this would freak out a guy who took time out of his life to live on an island and to be on a reality show for six weeks.  I mean really.

So he crushed her soul and she was, understandably, angry and wouldn't allow him to work out his guilt by telling her how sorry he was.  This is was pretty uncomfortable to watch and while I totally feel for her, I hope she knows that she will be okay.  I am sure by now she is ok, and I hope she doesn't allow it to eat at her soul any more than it already has.  Sure you opened up to the wrong guy at the wrong time and it sucks and he did totally take advantage, but that's ok.  If you never let anyone in to break your heart, you will never learn what it is to actually love.

I realized while watching it that I think I am actually a grown up now because in the past I would have probably felt her pain for her.  But now I have been through so much more and have had my heart broken and yet I am still alive and am definitely a better person for it.  Especially when it is something you rarely do, it's very important to make sure you don't let it harden you, but to open up from it and learn from it.  It will prepare you for when the right person does come along.

And that's my reality show lesson of the week....

Big Brother.  Gross.  I am not so grown-up when watching it, I am having a hard time caring because I really liked James and wanted him to win.  When he went home I was not only sad about that, but angry at the short sitedness the other houseguests exhibited by leaving Vanessa and the Austwins in the house to live another day.

Vanessa just angers me like no one else.  I think because she is just so manipulative and should have been sent home already.  I am happy that the the threesome of Austin and twins will likely be broken up this week but I really want Vanessa gone.  She cannot get to top two because she will have all the arguments to win.

And, if I am being honest, she does deserve to win.  I just don't want her to.  I guess I am rooting for anyone but her.  Steve is too wimpy,so I guess John is my first choice even if he has aligned himself with the devil herself.  I haven't felt this strongly about someone not winning since Maggie and her band of bible thumpers ran over the house and backdoored Kaysar.  I have horrible luck with this show.  No one I like ever wins!  Wah Wah Wah!!!!